Daily Bike Forecast — by Bike Snob NYC

April 4th, 2019: The Invisible Bike Lane

Warm but possibly gusty today, and with a chance of rain tonight:

Thursday Weather

Thursday Mostly sunny, with a high near 58. West wind 8 to 17 mph, with gusts as high as 29 mph.

Thursday Night A 20 percent chance of rain. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 39. Northwest wind around 9 mph becoming northeast after midnight.

Sunrise: 6:35am

Sunset: 7:24pm

And remember, when the sun is out so are the ticketing books:

Here's one way to stay ahead:

Though they'll probably ticket you for exceeding some bicycle height restriction.

Remember the Dyckman Street protected bike lane?

Well, it's still gone, and nobody's talking:

Street safety advocates lobbied the DOT for nearly a decade before the agency finally installed a parking-protected bike lane on Dyckman Street, in Inwood. The new design was in place for about 10 months before the city repaved the street, erasing the bikeway in the process. That was six months ago, and the DOT isn't saying when, or if, the bike lane will be back.

At this rate the DOT might as well replace it with a giant shrug emoji.

Anyway, I've seen enough "Billions" episodes to know that all of this is extremely fishy:

Meanwhile, in Brooklyn, Park Slope may very well have attained Peak Nimby:

They've also reached Peak Stupid:

There may be a correlation.

One thing's for sure--if there were no such thing as playgrounds and you tried to build them today there's no way they would ever fly.

Though the award for All-City NIMBY clearly goes to Carl Rosenstein, who offers us this healthy serving of word salad lightly dressed with racism:

Back in the antithetical West on 14th St., the Department of Transportation’s proposed street closure, dedicated bus lane and already emplaced and hated Village bike lanes are back like a bad case of herpes picked up in the back room of a Patpong dive bar. The viral carrier in this case are Brooklyn’s Bicycle Bolsheviks, i.e. Transportation Alternatives.

TransAlt is not unlike a Thai prostitute offering a seductive illusion. TransAlt’s didactic manifesto induces its followers to “save the planet,” and that requires “reclaiming New York City’s streets for people” from the bad karma of the elitist motorist. “Vision Zero” will “save us” and possibly cure cancer. Like the small clique of apparatchiks who engineered all aspects of Soviet society, this fevered cell of Brooklyn Bolsheviks have been transforming Manhattan’s gritty grid into a cow pasture for dumb, grazing tourists and a thruway for the piggish, 36-speed lycra junta from Park Slope.

There's a whole lot to unpack here, but it may just be better to leave the lid on that particular box and slide it back under the bed.

And in case you're wondering, the answer is "no:"

Nope

It certainly would have explained a lot though.